Huddersfield Town- Have They Lost That Spark?

Today, I have something to say regarding Huddersfield Town, Premier League team who have just drawn 1-1 against Championship side Birmingham and recently lost to Leicester City, West Ham, Liverpool and Stoke City. This isn’t a moan about losing matches in the league…it was to be expected! What I have a problem with recently is a lack of ambition, watching players deflate and look clueless on the pitch and resort to passing the ball around before giving it back to the goalkeeper who will often nearly give it away to the opposition.

If any goal is something to scratch your head about, it has to be the Roberto Firmino goal in the Liverpool match…literally walks into a box full of defenders from the side and kicks it in! In League One, that’s embarrassing! We can’t defend like that if we want to stay in this league…we seemed so much more firm and strong at the back before that Burnley game…ever since then, goals come flying in…although the same was in the Championship…we got promoted with a negative goal difference after all!

Now, if relegation happens, I won’t rant and complain…because let’s be honest, it was always going to be a huge task to remain in the league when one year prior, we were favorites to be relegated to League One! Yet what a season it turned out to be! So if it doesn’t work out for us this time around, how can we be so angry and upset over it? At least we would be able to say that we saw Huddersfield Town playing Premier League football against the likes of Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester United and Manchester City! I’m not saying relegation is a certainty but with current form, that conclusion is slowly become a reality but the team can do something about it, they just need to be more brave on the pitch, don’t let other teams intimidate them! go for it, put that extra effort in, like it’s a cup final and see what happens because I have felt like the team hasn’t tried as hard as it did at the start of the season because we have slightly overachieved by getting wins over Manchester United, Watford and Newcastle…you always hear David Wagner sound so sure of the players and that everything will be fine, a slight sign of arrogance perhaps or maybe they really believe that things will turn around, I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

What are you doing Huddersfield? What has happened to you ever since you drew 0-0 with Burnley…as we drew 2017 to a close and celebrated just what a year it had been for the club to bring in a horror show of a month to kick of 2018! A question I’ve been asking for quite a while now and before you say that I am being harsh to a team that got promoted to the Premier League on a minor goal difference, it’s hard to not do so when the first half of the season has Huddersfield show fight, passion and a drive to give their all…even in defeat! Yet ever since January started, the team looks deflated and lifeless! A noticeable change has appeared at the Kirklees Stadium and the team’s performance is lackluster and the players look terrified, perhaps even tired!

We feel far removed from last August when we had our first home match against Newcastle, that 1-0 win got us all buzzing! The obvious highlight was our famous 2-1 victory over Manchester United! The effort we put in against Manchester City, albeit we lost but we fought from start to finish and made them work hard for that win! Going to Watford and putting 4 past them, once more giving Town fans hope on away days! Here are the teams Huddersfield have defeated so far.

Crystal Palace (A)

Newcastle (H)

Manchester United (H) 

West Brom (D)

Brighton (H)

Watford (A) 

 

In January, Huddersfield brought in two players, neither of them have decent experience in the Premier League and way before Deadline Day, David Wagner admitted that the likelihood of bringing in anyone else was unlikely…Terence Kongolo and Alex Pritchard have played but not for a full 90 minutes together yet. Brought on as subs in the 4-1 defeat to West Ham but Pritchard debuted fully in the 2-0 defeat to Stoke City. While it’s early days to judge them both fairly on performances, does everyone feel confident in the squad of players that we have to keep us in the Premier League or is it a task too much for the boys to handle? Should Huddersfield got another couple of players in with some experience of the league we are in?

For a while now, I have been thinking that the real leader of the Huddersfield squad is Elias Kachunga and I’ll tell you why I think that! Ever since he got injured against Watford in December, Huddersfield have gone down hill and it feels like all along, he was the glue that held Town together. Mounie and Depoitre have scored a few goals each but need to score more, in fact Huddersfield need to score more as a whole or we don’t stand a hope of staying in the Premier League.

Huddersfield are punching above their weight, so to speak…when David Wagner started, we were almost down in League One and look at us now, fighting for survival in the Premier League! Never say never but whatever happens, what a season! I’ll be proud whatever happens to us but what worries me about relegation are two things

• Will Wagner go?
• How many key players will go?

If we get relegated, we could be looking at a very different Huddersfield Town come August and I don’t know what will happen, although we will get a parachute payment for going to the Championship…will that money be invested somewhat in players to possibly fight for promotion once more, it happened once so why not?

Currently, Huddersfield have 24 points in the Premier League and sit 14th place in the Premier League, having not won a match in the 2018 calendar match as of yet, unless you count the FA Cup victory over Championship side Bolton! Here is the remaining fixtures for Huddersfield Town up to May, where the season ends.

January

30/01 Liverpool (H) lost 3-0

February

03/02 Manchester United (A)

06/02 Birmingham (A) FA Cup

11/02 Bournemouth (H)

24/02 West Brom (A)

March

03/03 Tottenham (A)

10/03 Swansea (H)

17/03 Crystal Palace (H)

31/03 Newcastle (A)

April

07/04 Brighton (A)

14/04 Watford (H)

21/04 Chelsea (A)

28/04 Everton (H)

May 

05/05 Manchester City (A)

13/05 Arsenal (H)

If you look at those fixtures, some are winnable for Huddersfield Town, it’s not over until it’s over and every game is a new chance to get a win and get that confidence back into the players as well as the fans, it’s well needed because doubt is lurking, the hype from the first few months is long gone now and many around the country are putting Huddersfield as favorites to drop back down to the Championship. Realistically, 16 points are needed to get to 40 points and these are the games I personally think are the best chance we have to get those vital points.

11/02 Bournemouth (H) 

 10/03 Swansea (H) 

31/03 Newcastle (A) 

07/04 Brighton (A) 

14/04 Watford (H) 

I also think a point can be picked up against Crystal Palace and possibly Everton as well so we have plenty of chances to get to that safe zone but we need to get out of this rut we have found ourselves in and shake off the disbelief that we can’t stay in this league! We’ve shown that at times, we can win games! I mean we got over 20 points by Christmas but like I said before, we have slipped in January and I have no idea where the next points will come from but I would love to have them soon, just to get that belief that I crave back, not fear the next opponents and assume that we don’t stand a chance, after the West Ham game and how easy it was for them to put 4 past us, it’s easy to see why…in our back yard and it was simple for West Ham, easy for Chelsea and a walk in the park for Tottenham.

Consider the other teams around us, Brighton, Newcastle, Bournemouth, Crystal Palace, Swansea, Stoke etc  Our fate may lie in the hands of our opponents and the results that they get! We do need wins but I also think we need luck on our side as well, results in our favor and points and we can get out of this situation….it is possible that next season, Huddersfield will still be in the Premier League! Yet we have to get out of this rut, get some wins, preferably before that match against Chelsea in April! If those wins that I mentioned before occur then we will have a great chance as that would put us on 39 points! If we can get to around 35 points and have a little bit of luck on our side, we have a chance as well…yet if we lose those games then we will definitely be returning to the 2nd tier of English Football and we’ll have to cherish the memories as we prepare for all those Yorkshire derbies once more! I highly doubt however we will go all the way until May without any wins…the way we played in the first half of the season makes me believe that…we went through a bad spell already this season, which was followed by a fantastic December so I firmly believe that we can get back to a good run of form…after the Man United match!

I will admit that I haven’t been a lifelong Terrier Fan in any way, I started supporting them in 2012 when I started going to University in Huddersfield but I’ve been hooked on them ever since. I’ve seen Town get thrashed by Bristol City 3-0, destroy Bolton 5-1 and get into the Premier League by beating Reading via penalties at Wembley and I know that relegation is a possibility, a high one at that and if it does happen, It’ll hurt but I’ll be proud of the team regardless and back to see them once more in August, whatever league they play in because that’s what you do!  I’ll cherish the match day programmes from every home match, the Huddersfield Premier League shirt! Various other memories I have of the season for the rest of my life! I started liking Huddersfield when they were fighting for survival in the Championship and have to admit, it was the best decision I ever made…I love the club and always will! The fans are great and I love the stadium!

 

UTT!

Happy New Year 2018- Try Your Best!

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?

Happy New Year everybody! We say farewell to 2017 and welcome 2018 and that makes me overjoyed because I hate odd number years! Yes I’m weird like that as I feel more confident and lucky when the year ends with an even number! So bring on 2018 everybody and let’s make this one better than the last!

Before I go on though, part of me just sees New Years as another day, yes I enjoy it and I’ll celebrate it but once midnight hits and we all sing and cheer…that’s it, back to normal and we begin a new year a bit quietly I might add…January is always a quiet month for me so I always wonder why so many people travel long distances across country and spend vast amounts of money I might add, after they already have done these things a week prior for Christmas…just for a few minutes on the 31st of December? In London, you have people standing for hours in the cold for the fireworks, when you can watch it for free on TV, some even came from Taiwan or further afield! For fireworks! It’s not a bad thing to do by any means so go ahead and have a blast, I just find it funny how people moan about spending so much on Christmas, yet do the same thing a week later…maybe we all just like to moan from time to time? Life’s hard so who doesn’t like to unwind and celebrate something, just don’t be shocked if I don’t listen to you moan about how much you spent doing it the day after!

Moving on to Autism now, the start of a new year can bring hope that things will go a lot better for an individual than the previous one as I find myself reflecting on stuff that didn’t perhaps go to plan and what I can possibly do to make things more positive and better this time around…sounds like a broken record to be honest because I feel like I say this every January…it’s like a new years resolution that fails after a week!

A main challenge for anyone with Autism is being social and making friends, getting a job, getting married etc You see it all over the internet, books etc It’s a task for someone with Autism to do what someone without Autism can do, twice the effort etc You’ve probably heard it all a million times already! But one thing that I do everyday is something that helps a great deal and it’s rather simple as well but it works.

Do Your Best  

Basically, that’s all anyone should be able to do in this situation…just the best that you can do! No one should expect more or less really when it comes to socializing and not any other person can make this happen except for you! When I went to University, I had to force myself to go out and try to mingle with people, it wasn’t easy by any standard and at times, it didn’t work at all but I had successes as well in the long run and was generally a liked member of my class, I mean I got quite the cheer when I went to collect my degree on graduation day and for me, that speaks volumes because I can remember times when something like University was impossible, I had no interest in going out and spending time with people, not a chance!

I know what it’s like to have no friends and honestly, I hated every moment of it! Yes I enjoy time to myself but deep down, I knew I was lonely and I couldn’t think of a reason why I actually was. Could it have been my fault? Yes…it somewhat was…because I wasn’t making much of an effort or I just didn’t think it was that important really to go out and possibly humiliate myself by trying to make friends, if I failed…I’d just be mocked for it and be even more alone…if that was possible back then. School wasn’t fun for me, especially after my diagnosis but who am I kidding, it went wrong for me long before I even knew what Autism was!  Yet when I went to College and University, new worlds opened up for me and I was able to grow and learn more about myself because of it…I still made errors along the way but because I had better people around me than I ever did in school, I could cope and become more confident, resulting in the lifelong friends I have today!

I did my best along the way, accepting that I would have setbacks and that not everyone would like me along the way, some people didn’t but many did and I realized that growing up, I wanted everyone to like me and it cost me a lot because I said yes to everyone and felt used in the end, I couldn’t see that some had caught on and were using me…I respect myself far too much now to ever let that happen again but it took a lot of self belief that I wasn’t worthless, finding the right people to help me and a little bit of luck for it all to happen.

I was also tired of feeling cynical and being negative all the time, it was just as much my fault for what happened to me as it was everyone else, I let it happen…I didn’t try to stop it until it was too late and accepting that helped me a lot, I took the responsibility and learned from it, helping me grow as a person…I don’t moan about how others chose to live their lives or how I feel jealous that many can easily go out and make friends whereas It takes me ages to make just one! Life is to precious and short to worry about all of that, just do the best that you can and enjoy every single moment because good times will come to you! However, you have to make that happen…don’t just sit there and wait for me, get out there and make it happen yourself…yes bad times will happen but so will good ones…you just have to be a little bit brave and you’ll see the rewards for your efforts, not everyone out there will ignore you, some will see the attempts and efforts you put in…I for one don’t talk all the time with people I don’t know as much but over time, I find myself engaging in conversation with work colleagues more and more and as much as I feel nervous about it all, I give it a go at least and I always feel happy every time I have one!

So this year, I’ll continue to do the same and try to do a little bit more each time because I believe that I can, if I try hard enough…I myself can make 2018 a good year and with a little bit of luck, that’s what will happen….especially because me and my wife will try for a baby!

Happy New Year World! 

Autism In The Workplace

Today I talk about Autism and work, now from what I hear and read about this topic is that the two do not click very well or in other words, many people with Autism struggle to get a job, let alone hold one down. I have had a few jobs from being a teenager and have had many different experiences through them all, some good and a few bad and I left a job because I got all too much for me to handle but that was for more than just handling angry customers.

What is it that holds so many people back from getting a paid job when they have Autism? The fear of dealing with people? A lack of understanding from an employer? Maybe it’s both in a way, I mean school was a struggle enough, why would going out into a working place be any different when you won’t know who you are working with? Every article I read, it says that a low per cent of adults with Autism will be able to work a full time job or even live by themselves, especially those with high functioning Autism and it can be a little frustrating to read stuff like this because it isn’t a confidence booster so many years ago, I fell of the wagon and didn’t think like that…I didn’t read the articles stating that everyone with Autism was the same, I didn’t even think about Autism and I got on with my life.

When I moved in with my wife in 2014, I needed to find a job so I took the first job that responded to me and that was a fast food restaurant on the edge of town, it was money and that’s all I was bothered about…at the time. At first, everything was fine and dandy but some of the rules the place had were very stressful and you had to be up and running all day long, you couldn’t slow down for a second and it was very bad for my health, I resorted to Kalm tablets to not lose control and snap because it was slowly bringing me down over time. An example was that you had to not be a pound down in your till or it’s a mark against you and if you got so many, they got rid of you but what they don’t tell you is that while your working and serving customers, another worker might take something from your till…to teach you a lesson! It’s busy as heck and when your focusing on 3 to 5 customers at a time, that’s what they are bothered about! A few of my tills were down and that added to my stress and not to mention the customers who would make you feel small and how they’d brag that they were successful etc You see that a lot in most jobs to be fair though! 

I left that place after a month because I just wasn’t myself anymore, I wasn’t happy at all and people noticed my change in attitude, I just didn’t want to do anything whatsoever so for my health and happiness, I chose to leave and work a little bit closer to home. Working with the public has it’s up and downs but it’s fine most of the time yet you will get the occasional person who tries to ruin your day, mostly because they are already in a bad mood.

I have worked in a cafe before as well and that was on and off as you would occasionally get the angry customer who complained over the slightest detail, I even had one moan because I was Autistic…that was the last time I told someone I thought was friendly that I had it and they moaned because one of their neighbours has it and is always loud and throws things so they assumed I was the same and demanded someone else to serve them…it was humiliating, I’ll admit but I got over it in time but an experience like that can crush confidence because of the lack of understanding with some people can hamper a day and make you want to go home and quit.

Nowadays, I do just fine with a job and mine includes dealing with the general public on a daily basis! That sounds like it would be really tough for someone like me to have to talk to people all day long but to be honest, it’s fine most of the time! In a way, I just stopped letting people get to me and ruin my day, what’s the point of letting one or two people get to you if they think they are above you? I just shrug it off but I used to struggle to get over a comment made by someone, I won’t see them again anyway so why let it get you down? I mean I was once complained about for saying the following to a customer

”I don’t think Donald Trump should be president” – 2016

Now I live in England people! Yet someone got offended by my opinion on anothe countries presidential election…because you can’t have an opinion in this day and age because someone will be offended by it to the point that they have to say something…what a sad world we live in! I don’t remember this in the 90’s, just makes me realise why I’d hate to be labelled a ‘Millennial’ because everyone just moans about them…I can see why! I mean I heard that Britain wanted ‘Pregnant Woman’ to be changed to ‘Pregnant People’ because it is offensive to Transgender people, don’t believe me, look at the blue link by the Guardian the point being is that people get offended by the strangest of things and at work, you tread on egg shells as what to talk about!

Jobs are hard and having to deal with people has ups and downs but it’s not something that I dread anymore…I’m used to it because you will get bad customers but you will also get so many more good customers who brighten your day and make you smile, I mean I’ve had many customers come to me because of my smile or because I make their day and that makes me happy so it’s worth it, I have my regulars and some have even bought me a bottle of champagne before my wedding!

Sounds silly but I just stopped thinking about Autism when I’m in work, I know I’m capable and I don’t need a label to hold me back because it only holds me back via how others react to it, not me personally so I don’t think about it at all and yes I have moments where I come close to a meltdown and I over think everything to the point I’m told not to worry but that’s life, I earn all my victories by myself…in other words, I peeled my label off.

Jobs are hard and can be challenging but if you don’t believe the hype that people with Autism can’t handle very much and you just do your best, then no one can ask any more from you, don’t do anything that you will find damaging for your health, try something that will make you feel comfortable and an environment that will make you happy…preferably one that is good for dealing with people with disabilities but it’s not impossible for someone with Autism to get a job, far from it…don’t let what you have hamper or stop any dreams that you have, after all…it’s all down to you at the end of the day if you let it get to you or not…no one else is responsible for that so don’t let it stop you, let it encourage you and push you forward in this world, let it make you happy!

Like A Lost Soul

What is my place in life? Why am I here? I sometimes wonder these two questions because sometimes it feels like I get up, go to work, come home and go to bed and it becomes a routine that you can feel trapped inside off because you know you would be much worse off if you didn’t have a job to go to or a home to leave and come back to but you also want so much more from life.

Everyday you see people living a dream, doing the job they always wanted to do and you look at yourself and ask ‘What am I doing wrong?’ I went to school, got good marks and have a degree…why am I struggling so much to make myself happy?

Have you ever heard anyone say this to a child

”Do well in school or you’ll be a failure like that person!” 

I have heard two people say that to their children and you wonder what kind of example does that set for them? To make them look down at people working and earning money…just because it’s not a high paying job, they have to be looked down upon and mocked…what is this the 1800’s? Many people I’ll have you know can’t find a job or put food on the table, many collect benefits yet the ones that earn something and work for it can be mocked and made out as examples to not end up like that and it sickens me because too many people don’t know what it’s like to struggle a bit but like to moan like they do. I don’t know, it’d be nice if people didn’t feel like bragging if they or someone they know is successful or doing well in life…nothing wrong with people doing well but why make someone else feel bad if they aren’t?

However, we have no point moaning about how unfair life can be, things won’t become better that way, we have to do something about it ourselves! They say that University degrees no longer guarantee a high paying job and in the UK, doing an apprenticeship is the new way forward for the next generation…won’t leave you in high debt and no prospects, that’s for sure!

With all that said, I feel like I became a bit of a lost soul in the education system…don’t get me wrong, my grades are fine…I’d say I’m a B/C student as most of my GCSES are those marks but when I was diagnosed with Autism as a teen, it caused so much time being wasted by becoming accustomed to how I did things and having others telling me to not have much hope for the future…I couldn’t ever think about being a doctor, lawyer or anything worthwhile…my confidence was so low…I thought people wanted me to become a farmer or something…no disrespect to farmers but I don’t want to do that!

I work, earn money and can afford what I want to but I also think…what if I try to move up the ladder a little bit someday…try something new yet I always fear that marks will somewhat hold me back over experience. I’ll always write, that is something that I live for! The one thing that makes me happy, whether I succeed or fail at, I’ll keep doing it because it makes me smile.

Life’s a journey for everyone…we just all take different paths towards the end of it..I know that if I want to do better, I have to do something about it myself. I don’t like being a lost soul.

 

When Life Gets You Down…

”If you have a degree…why do you work in a supermarket?”

Have you ever had a moment where someone says something to you that makes you ask yourself…have I made all the right decisions in life…or am I a failure at it?

I am a 27 years old man with mild Autism and for most of my life, it has felt like an uphill battle and that’s just to prove that I can do even the most basic of tasks as many have cast doubts on me since day one and part of me feels my childhood was one where I never had time to decide what I really would like to do with my life, I was too busy being asked what was wrong with me for so many years…it turned out I had Autism.

With Autism can come labels from everyone which include

• Anti Social
• No Jobs
• Not being married
• Never having sex
• Living with Parents
• No expectations

However, since I turned 16, I feel like I was able to do things for myself, such as making decisions about my life and since then, I have done the following.

• Married
• Had sex
• Have a 2:1  University degree and an award for Overall Achievement
• Have a job
• Have good friends and family
• Have had a short story published in a competition

That doesn’t sound bad in my honest opinion but my job is working in a supermarket and that was because of money…it was cheaper to move back to where my girlfriend lived then stay in the city where I went to University and at the time, not many places were hiring…that included being at McDonald’s for a month but I didn’t like that so I left and went to a supermarket in town where I am still to this day, I enjoy it…the staff are nice and most of the customers are as well but after a while you wonder what you are doing with your life.

I want to be an author someday, have my stories be in stores and online, I can dream right? I mean I did enter a contest in University and had my story go into a book with other writers…better than nothing right? Yet when that customer said the quote at the top of this blog…I couldn’t help but feel…ashamed…like it was bad to be working in such a place when I had a degree…she would go on to say how her daughter was a solicitor…which was nice and all but when people rub it in your face…you struggle to keep the smile on your face because 9/10 people are nice but you always get that 1 who is in a mood, boastful or just ignores you the entire transaction.

I always tell myself that it won’t be forever, I’ll get somewhere else someday because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life at the tills…I know people who have been in that place since before I was born which is alright for them but not for me, I want to try and do more with my life…but will my Autism hold me back? Will others see it as a hindrance as they did once in my childhood?

Me and my wife have talked about wanting to start a family soon but I feel so nervous about that because of how I am…I would be gutted if my children grow up to see me the way I am…I don’t want them to look at me with pity someday because of my job or something…I want them to be proud! For all I know, I could be worrying over nothing and overtime, I’ll go on to better things…who knows maybe I’ll get that book published and feel like I’ve found my calling because at one point in my life, I was told I would amount to nothing by those around me, made to feel like I would never grab that brass ring and do anything meaningful with my life.

When it is my time to leave this world, I want to know that I didn’t waste my life…that I didn’t listen to the doubters and that I left my mark in someway. Maybe I just need to cheer up a little…I mean I haven’t blogged as much in a while…life getting on top of me I guess! I have to keep going though…writing is everything to me…it was the one thing that kept me going through all the dark days. Not able to put words to a canvas of any kind would be soul crushing for me! I feel like someday…I’ll write something that will leave a mark on everyone in some way…I don’t know what it could be but I always just have that…feeling.

I Feel Hurt With Life

Life is a strange thing indeed! It can involve so many up and down moments for us all and each one can be so unique and be a little different, even if something similar has happened prior but for me, a recent event or I should say a couple of similar events have occurred in my life over the summer that have somewhat brought me down, to a point I felt I would never return to.

I always find something that takes me away from the keyboard so far this summer 2017. It’s hard enough when you lose 1 family member but 2 in the space of a week? August 2017 was a horrible month for me and my 1st Wedding Anniversary was in that month! That was a diamond in the rough compared to the other 30 days! The two passing’s just make that month one of the worst I have ever had…the last time I felt so down was when I was diagnosed with Autism!

I’ve been down before with life and sometimes, I just couldn’t be bothered to write any blogs or anything for a while if it upsets me to a certain point that I can’t concentrate enough anymore…not so much in fact…I had a few days off work because of this one, I couldn’t cope with anything! Granted that they both made it to good ages, 86 and 93…it still hurts that one minute, they are here…the next they are gone! Someone you’ll never speak to or see ever again…only have pictures and memories to remember them by.

I wasn’t there when my grandfather died but I was in town when I was told that my grandmother had passed away in her sleep and I just knew that I had to go around…I have no idea why I would want to…I mean it’s not an easy thing to do but I felt bad that I had never been able to properly say ‘goodbye’ to someone close to me…I didn’t want to let this slip by…it’s a time I’ll never be able to forget but to be honest…I don’t think I want to forget it…no one made me go and see her, I chose to do it because of everything she has ever done for me, I want to at least thank her and say a proper farewell.

I have struggled to speak my mind to anyone over this or feel like I can ask about how others are dealing with this as well…I feel so helpless and useless as a grandson because I feel blank…I can’t do anything productive or helpful as of right now and maybe a bit of time to come to terms is needed.

I didn’t always cry either time…I felt sadness but I’m not so sure I was able to express it completely, like I would have preferred to. I have always found it hard to cry when something upsetting happens but this time…I cried more on the day that my grandparents died than the actual funerals or the last goodbyes! It can be mentally draining to come to terms with death, I sometimes still don’t understand it…so many questions regarding what happens to a person once they are no more…and with me, if I don’t know something, it drives me nuts so death is a tough one because I have to convince myself that they have gone to a better place…even though I’ll always think what if scenarios…because I can’t help myself.

It’s been a hard time recently because one death is tough enough to get over but 2! I’ve never had to deal with this sort of thing before…sure I’ve had death in the family before but not so much at once! I just feel so much pain right now…something about death just gets to me…changes me and I can’t stand it at all…I just only hope that with time, my wounds become healed and I can move on with life once more.

Rest In Peace Edna and James

To Talk About Autism

I do not own the article used in this blog nor claim to. It is the property of the Metro Newspaper!

We have a newspaper in the UK called the Metro and I found an article called Five Conversations I’ve had To Have About Autism   and it basically talks about while we have differences when it comes to having Autism, we have recurring themes that we can all go through so I thought I’d look through the article and see if I can relate to any of them.

• 1) The Apology– It talks about often having to apologise to other people for either having Autism or if someone you know like a child for having Autism in certain situations, the Metro uses an example of a child with Autism being ‘mean’ to another child and a parent complaining to the other parent about it. The parent who has the Autistic child apologises and explains that their child is Autistic and it goes on saying that apologising for their child’s behaviour all over the place and I immediately said that I cannot relate to this issue at all as I have never apologised to anyone for what I have nor will I ever…whether I do when I become a parent is another matter though!  True that understanding of Autism has gotten better over the years but it’s nowhere near to the level that we all need it to be and I don’t think I would ever say ‘I;m sorry but my child is Autistic because I just feel like I’ using it as an excuse…I don’t want to go about with the impression that Autism is the reason my child would act the way they are doing…maybe some do but as I got older, I felt slightly ashamed that I found it easy to use the Autism card if I did anything wrong…I was responsible for my actions! Nope, I can’t relate to this first one but I imagine others will be able to.
• 2) Telling Your Child– This is one I might be able to relate to in the future when I have children of my own but as for me being told, I was a teenager and was well aware that I was diagnosed with Autism, I didn’t need my parents to tell me but I sometimes wish that I was diagnosed a few years earlier when I was at my special needs school so I was in a better environment to learn how to cope with it as things could have ended up much better for me but if I was a parent who had a child who was young and was diagnosed, I would tell them straight away and help them in every way In could, I’ve been in the battle…I know when a meltdown is around the corner and when something is going to go down…not many others in my life really know and I’m not sure my wife would know much about it, she struggles enough with me to be honest. I could wait until my child was a little older, easily but why wait? I know first hand that it didn’t work…I went through years of confusion and anger with the timing and it slowed me down but then again, not everyone will be in that situation so for some it may work, for others it won’t.
• 3) The myth-buster– ‘Vaccines cause Autism’ ‘You must love Rain Man!’ ‘Everyone with Autism is the same’ No, Yes and….NOPE! Funny how everyone looks things up in the internet for everything nowadays, yet people still don’t know much about Autism, it’s like spelling something wrong on a computer…how is that possible with spell checker? True you shouldn’t believe everything you see online…especially the Vaccine stuff..I worry about the future generations that seem to be getting stupider I’ll have you know! More vaccine talk and I roll my eyes! Have fun with all the diseases your children get because you read an article by a phony doctor who was proven wrong! Every time…soon the be the lazy generation when technology does EVERYTHING for us! Anyway…so many stereotypes about Autism that the majority seem to believe just like that…’it’s true because the internet said so!’ I find myself having to explain to people that I’m not that good at Maths…I’m nothing like Sheldon Cooper and that I have friends and I am married…I’ve even been accused of faking it because I have friends! I hate stereotypes on all levels because they are all so stupid…I’m moving on from this one before I lose my good mood and need a soya drink
• 4) Telling Your Family- I personally don’t understand why telling the family would be such a big deal…your all family at the end of the day and if something like a family member having Autism is going to change the way you care or see them…your not worth my time, ain’t never speaking to you again! Autism doesn’t have to be such a life changing moment if the people around the individual are loving and understanding! Patience is needed when it comes to loud noises, crowds of people and amongst many other things when it comes to Autism but if the person has people who don’t make him feel bad for it and help him get through it, then things are ok, correct? Sure it might take many attempts to get through a shopping trip without having a meltdown but babies cry and scream as well and people get annoyed by that…people get annoyed by nearly anything almost everywhere…whether it be a shop, park, cinema or public transport….loud noises will irritate most people, Autistic or not, the only difference is helping the person with Autism understand and that they don’t have to feel bad or ashamed for it! Having people around you that are caring and always there if you need them is vital, DO NOT make them feel alone or worthless because of it! You can’t shield them from everything forever though! One day, they have to learn to stand by themselves but you will always be there still because that’s what a family is supposed to do!
• 5) ‘The Support Network’ – This one just talks about the Facebook posts and groups online that we’ve all seen before where you will find someone that believes they are always right and everyone else is wrong, people who can’t see anything negative etc It suggests that everyone who has Autism have different ways with dealing with what they have, the same method will not work for everyone but some may be able to relate somewhat. This one actually makes using the online groups seem unavoidable as a method of dealing with Autism or a venomous pit where you are always wrong and that is sometimes the case but I have found it to be helpful a bit as well…it’s nice to know that your not the only person in the world who struggles with such things…it’s enough to make me feel a bit positive that I’m not alone at least!

Autistic Boy Left With Nail In Head

The images in this post are the property of the Nottingham Post and is only used as a visual, not for anything else.

This story today is called Autistic Boy Left With Nail In Head and if you click this link here, it’ll take you to the story in question that we are talking about today! I personally find this incident disturbing and horrifying so be prepared if your easily offended or sensitive.

A boy in Mansfield, England has been assaulted by a group of vicious bullies and to top this all off, they threw a plank of wood at this young lad which had a nail stuck to it…which unfortunately when thrown at Romeo, attached into the back of his head, causing him to have to go to hospital. The nail was thrown so hard that it bent in his head…just imagine that for a second, a group of older kids felt the need to pick on a vulnerable child and throw a plank of wood with a nail in it at him…with his Father right there…I swear if I ever got a hold of any of these kids, I’d want to put them in hospital myself…especially if it was my child that was assaulted in such a manner…I wouldn’t but I’d be furious! That is messed up and disgusting behaviour because it was unprovoked, it was one vs many and it was pointless! Try that on someone who will fight back, SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN!

Now I can’t assume that the kids knew that Romeo had Autism but even if they didn’t, this is still appalling…why do groups of children feel to need to act this way, what does it prove exactly, that they’re tough but what if Romeo had died, what then? Wouldn’t be so funny then…all of these people would have to live with that stupid decision for the rest of their lives, it would follow them everyday, one stupid decision and don’t give me the ‘they were only kids’ line…things like this happen everywhere and the UK is a nanny state enough as it is…but then again, in the UK…you can’t exactly discipline children if they are naughty….Go on the naughty step…that’ll teach you!

When I was a child, if I was naughty….I was disciplined and you know what…I grew up to be respectable and responsible for my actions because I was taught what was right and what was wrong…does that happen today in 2017….HELL NO! Everywhere I go, kids do what they want and nothing ever happens to them, they run amok without a care in the world and they are smarter then we all seem to give them credit for, they know we won’t do anything and they use that to their advantage! Mum and Dad won’t punish me for my action so I’ll keep doing it, what are they going to do…put me in the corner for a bit…so scary!

Not suggesting hitting your child because that has a negative effect as well but we must have a way to discipline our children that isn’t violent but teaches them respect and to behave as well…I just don’t see sitting on a naughty step or a corner teaching them anything…I mean a child had a nail stuck into his head that was thrown so hard, it bent in his skull! If I had done that, I’d not see the sunlight for a year…I’d get nothing and I’d deserve nothing…my parents would be so ashamed, disgusted at me and yes I’d be upset at this but I’d understand it as well, I would have caused this and I needed to fix it! what will these lot get? Probably nothing.

Of course these bullies threw a board…what will happen to them? A slap on the wrist more than likely…you can’t really give these idiots what they deserve because you can’t do that to children anymore, they get away with EVERYTHING! I mean you have some dressing up as bloody clowns every October and November and carrying knives! Parents aren’t allowed to properly discipline children or they’ll get into trouble…no wonder acts like this are on the rise! And I know some like to wrap kids in cotton wool and protect them from all the kidnappers and molesters of the world, stop them from eating nothing but junk food and that doing anything mean to a child is making them a better person…but is it? No consequences for your actions….can do what they want and get away with it….is that really better? Surely a middle ground between the two is needed because at this rate, stuff like this will get worse.

Is this the kind of behaviour that we all have to be concerned about when it comes to kids bullying others? Not just name calling or being beaten up but to be physically assaulted with a foreign object and sent to the hospital? Why….why on earth is stuff like this happening all over the globe? This happened while one of the parents was around, the group did not run away before doing this…that just shows that they didn’t care one little bit and that sickens me to my stomach….just imagine the parents that this lot had if they act like this and I know you can’t always blame the parents for how children always turn out but someone has to be responsible for not understanding the severity of this action.

Then again, why did Romeo’s parents let him wander off in the first place? I’m not putting any blame on them but if they were aware that he does this then perhaps they should have gone for him long before they arrived home but you can read all about this story in the link at the top of this page. I bet they won’t let him do that again! At the end of the day, these kids won’t be disciplined, the parents won’t be warned and stuff like this will keep happening, the cycle repeats itself! What a crazy world we all live in!

Get well soon Romeo, don’t let this stop you from living your life!

What I Don’t Like About Having Autism

Before I start here, I’ll show you my previous blog post called What I Like About Having Autism   

This time I’ll talk about What I don’t like about having Autism and to be honest, I could only think about one or possibly two things but I’ll say the first one here quickly because it isn’t that much of an issue anymore as it was in the past. Meltdowns were something that I really struggled handling in the past, especially in public as I could scream and shout over the smallest of things when under pressure. It became a big issue between the ages of 15 to 24 as I went through college and university but come the age of graduation and settling into married life, I have discovered that meltdowns are non existent, as in I have only had 5 in 3 years which is a huge decrease when it was one a month! Therefore I deem it for now at least that Meltdowns are no longer an issue or something that I don’t class as something I hate about having Autism.

They actually taught me that I needed to accept that things happen sometimes and that it was me that needed to do something about it, not have someone else have to reassure me and guide me through and this made me stronger as a person over the years, probably why some call me mature nowadays.

Feeling Misunderstood

Quite often, I feel like others fail to understand what it is that I actually have! Autism isn’t just one thing that affects everyone in the same way yet with the majority of people that have found out that I have it, automatically assume that my case is exactly the same as someone else that they happen to know and if they have it badly, they tend to begin treating like very differently…believe me, you notice straight away if a person’s attitude towards you shifts the way you wish it wouldn’t go.

The effects this can have is disheartening really as knowing that some people will purposely decide to try and avoid you based on the fact that you have Autism…something is not visible to anyone and you damn well know that if they didn’t know you had Autism, their attitude would be a lot more friendly…that’s just how it can feel sometimes. One person was shocked that I had Autism and beforehand we would talk quite frequently and were generally friends but after they found out what I had, I never spoke to them again. I tried to make contact but they ignored and avoided me and I just couldn’t understand why it was such a big deal…they were fine when they didn’t know but it was like I had some kind of contagious disease or something and I was cross about the whole ordeal because more often than not, it’s only when some people find out that I have Autism that they avoid me…I mean what is it about Autism that people don’t like?

I know I don’t always talk or socialise at the level that many would consider acceptable but it’s rather hard to try and do that when people avoid me! However this isn’t the case a lot of the time, most people don’t care that I have Autism and I’m glad about that because it really shouldn’t matter…it doesn’t change who I am as a person but what annoys me is how people seem to find a way to find something to get annoyed by what I have…when I do understand that many people with Autism have extreme cases and you hear the stories in the media, primarily in the United States to be honest, it’s barely mentioned in the United Kingdom to the same extent to be honest yet I can easily find a story related to Autism in some sort of negative way in the States but then again…a lot more people are in America, compared to Britain.

That would be my main complaint about having Autism, how others perceive it! Other people can determine what kind of day I’ll have, whether it’ll be good or bad and if someone makes me feel bad for what I have, then obviously I am going to have a bad day but if someone were to reassure me that Autism doesn’t make me who I am and that it shouldn’t matter to other people what I have, then chances are I’ll have a wonderful day because it’ll show that not everyone is so judgmental and nit picky but then again….humans have a tendency to find faults in other people but compared to other mental health and disability issues, Autism isn’t so obvious to spot but some are better than others at hiding it but shouldn’t that be an issue as well? Having to hide it away out of fear of feeling embarrassed by someone who feels the need to make me feel bad for something so small. Yes I have a smidgen of Autism, not full force as many others I have spoken to have and apparently that’s something people argue about…mild Autism but that’s another issue.

Thanks For Reading.

Fàilte gu Dùn Èideann

Fàilte gu Dùn Èideann (Welcome to Edinburgh) The latest place I have gone on my travels and after spending nearly a week in this city, I can honestly say that I hope to go back to it someday in the future. For a 4 day holiday, we were pretty much able to see the majority of the city and to our surprise, never really ever needed to use public transport to get from A to B, everything was within walking distance so we couldn’t wait to get stuck in.

Last year was Japan and the year before that was France and after a few years of going abroad, we realised that we didn’t ever stay anywhere in our own back yard…minus London and I had never been to Ireland, Wales or Scotland before in my life and I thought that it was time to change that so after looking about at what we were more interested, it was a close call but Scotland just edged Ireland and Wales which we’ll just have to do another time down the road.

Travelling from Leeds, we went via the East Coast across the border and arriving into the capital of Scotland, Edinburgh and it was raining, wonderful start to a holiday but we were just happy to be here. We set off towards York Place where our hotel was and right away, you can see the hustle and bustle of this city as the streets were jam packed with citizens and tourists and so many buses and trams! Our place was easy to find and as we would soon discover…Edinburgh isn’t the largest city you will ever visit and we would soon learn why during our stay as we learnt quite a bit of history about this place, it has a lot to tell! Edinburgh is a very hilly place and we discovered that on our way to our accommodation as we went up and down repeatedly before passing St Andrews Square.

The next morning, we set out towards the famous landmark that was Edinburgh Castle and it looked like it would be quite the trek as it’s situated on top a mighty hillside and since we didn’t know the area so well, we weren’t so sure as to which side the path leading up was on.  We headed down Princes Street and we passed Scott Monument , dedicated to Sir Walter Scott and I was already enjoying the architecture and history of this place, every street has a story to tell so I was hopeful that I was going to enjoy every single moment I had here.

The castle can be seen from all around, it’s the center piece of the entire area by far! When we eventually arrived to the front gates, we saw a massive crowd, mostly of large tour groups piling inside so we knew we were to be in for quite the wait before we could explore inside.

Flags at half mast due to the Manchester attack the day prior

Once inside, we spent the next few hours wandering around and going from room to room, like everyone else and I’ll try to not bore you with constant pictures of everything we saw

What can I say, I take a lot of photos when I’m on holiday! The castle was a great place to visit first as we both like history, my wife and me so learning all about the castle’s long history was fascinating and well worth the entrance fee. One thing that I learnt here that opened my eyes slightly was the origins of my last name Whitehouse which apparently originated in Scotland, first found in Aberdeenshire so that was interesting although I also know it’s a well known English last name nowadays so who knows, maybe I have a Scottish Ancestor deep in my family’s past, might have to look into that.

Next we saw the 1pm gun go off which it does every single day at the same time which was pretty cool, made me jump as it went off and it must be deafening for the guard who fires it all the time to be so close…I always thought they could do it on a timer or push a button from a safer distance but I’m no expert on the matter, just an interested observer

The majority of our first day was surprisingly spent at the castle which was unusual for us as we tend to do the castle part of the holiday in the morning and spend the afternoon doing something else but this place just had so much to see and do. Everyone was friendly which made the experience much better because like Japan last year, if the people around you are friendly, the experience is just made that much better because of it and Edinburgh was no exception.

One American said something to us as we went into the war memorial that made us scratch our heads because it just sounded bizarre to us.

‘I don’t understand English, I speak American!’ – Tourist Can someone explain that one to me??

The dungeons were awesome as well but too dark for any photos but quite spooky which is what you should feel when you step into a place where people once suffered. If I lived in this city, I’d feel pretty proud to have this gem to look at everyday, it just looks so cool on the rock, overlooking everything in the distance like Fife and Arthur’s Seat.

We made our way out of the Castle and after looking about some gift shops and seeing a ton of Cashmere, we decided to go for a little hike up Arthur’s Seat but I’ll talk about that next time.

Hope you enjoyed!