The Matt Attack! Wrestlemania 31 Review

It’s Wrestlemania 31! that event that we’ve all been looking forward too so much, live from the Levi Stadium in Santa Clara, California

• Lana is back and it looks like she’ll appear with Rusev later on.
• Kane prevents an interview with Triple H (NO MASK!)
• J and J backstage bump into Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson who still work for Mr McMahon

Kick Off

Match One

A nice little opener that was a lot of fun with some great moves performed by all. A pin by a Matadores could have fooled you to thinking they had just won the Tag Team Champions, thankfully it wasn’t a legal pin…phew! after a great finish, Ceasro and Kidd are able to retain their championships, not bad because the best team won!

Winner: Tyson Kidd/ Cesaro

Rating- 6/10 

Match 2

Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

A nice moment for Big Show really, it makes sense that he should win the trophy so I can’t be mad about it. It was a decent Battle Royal and we all got to see the Mizdow turn that we all prayed for….someone needed to shut the Miz up! and he made it to the last two after other favorites Kane, Ryback, Cesaro and for the fans Hideo Itami but Mizdow was unable to lift the Giant over the top rope, despite all of the biting and Show was rightfully given the trophy, likely as a way to say thank you for years of service and loyalty. Where Big Show goes from here, who knows?

Winner: Big Show

Match Rating: 6/10

Match 3

We are now into Wrestlemania Live! a decent kickoff show although not too sure how a memorial to Andre The Giant was in the pre show but oh well, WWE Logic! it always feels weird to see a WWE ring in a stadium but it’s one of the things that makes Wrestlemania so special. We kick off the PPV with the Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match.

I was hoping that we would kick off the show with this match, it takes me back to Wrestlemania a few years back when we would always start with the Money In The Bank Ladder Match and oh boy, this match had many spots that would keep your attention glued to the ring or TV screen. They include Ambrose smashed through a ladder by Harper, each superstar diving off something onto everyone else, Bull hammers everywhere! and Ziggler and Bryan headbutting the heck out of the other! it was a lot of fun to watch! Even R Truth was great to watch!

Ambrose

Stardust Flies!

Ambrose is slammed through a ladder by Harper!

Harper was great in this match

Winner: Daniel Bryan

Match Rating- 10/10!

An amazing opener that should be one of the contenders for Match of the Year as we start off this years Wrestlemania with the way we ended the last one, Daniel Bryan winning gold! yes Yes Yes Yes! I loved this match from start to finish and with a new IC Champion, we should probably expect a returning Sheamus, BNB or Dolph Ziggler to challenge Bryan over the course of this Summer so it should be interesting to see how much attention this championship will get now.

Match 4

Randy Orton vs Seth Rollins

Watch this match, WATCH IT! you won’t regret it, if anything, just for the ending. These two stars have such great chemistry when they wrestle! shame that the mall cops were out there, i’d have preferred it if it was just Rollins and Orton. In this match, we see a sick double DDT to the mall cops onto the floor from the ring! this is followed up by an amazing suicide dive by Seth Rollins to Orton. A reversal of rollins Curb Stomp into a power slam looked beautiful which was matched later by Rollins and a moonsault onto Orton on the outside but you see Rollins slam his back into the announce table (ouch!)

Orton hits an RKO but only gets a 2. The Mall Cops then both get RKO’S, allowing Rollins to hit a Curb Stomp but he only gets a 2 as well. Watch the video below and you will see the end of this amazing match, a reversal that defines beauty and the majesty of wrestling.

Winner: Randy Orton

Rating: 10/10! Wow, just wow WWE, two awesome matches in a row, this one was just fantastic! Orton looked amazing and Seth Rollins showed that he will truly be the future of WWE, he never disappoints in a match and can hit moves that make a fan’s jaw drop every match. I’d say that this was a Wrestlemania classic for sure. This is Orton’s first singles match at Wrestlemania since he lost to Kane (WITH THE MASK ON!) at Wrestlemania 28 and his first win at Wrestlemania since Wrestlemania 27. Well done WWE, this is the most you’ve made me smile in a long time.

Match 5

Triple H vs Sting

If you watched this match, the entrances were awesome right? Triple H’s especially! loved the Terminator bits and Arnie! looked as if they had blown up San Francisco. The match started off well, Sting showing that he still had it and HHH looked surprised by this They go back and forth and Triple H hits a running knee that does nothing but knock off some of Sting’s face paint! a cool moment where Sting misses a Stinger splash into the barricade! HHH takes over and dishes out some serious punishment but all of a sudden, the Game is trapped in Sting’s Scorpion Death Lock! but all of a sudden!

BREAK IT DOWN!

DX!! all of a sudden we’ve gone back in time to 1997 and DX attack Sting but he fights them off and a Pedigree attempt as well before he finally gets hit by the Pedigree but HHH only gets a 2 count! and then

THE NWO! WHAT!!! Hogan, Nash and Hall! it’s the Monday Night Wars again! this is the stuff I grew up with, nostalgia right here! Triple H is then able to kick out of the Scorpion Death Drop! Sting quickly gets the Death Lock back in and HHH reaches for his sledgehammer but Hogan removes it! X Pac (bless) takes him out, then Nash takes out X Pac before Billy Gunn takes him out. Meanwhile in the ring

SWEET CHIN MUSIC, IT’S HBK! BUT STING KICKS OUT AT 2!

HHH gets his sledgehammer but Scott Hall gives Sting his trusty bat and with this magical bat, he breaks the wooden handle of the sledgehammer but after a quick moment of back and forth action, HHH uses the head of the hammer and whacks the vigilante in the skull and picks up the win!

Winner: Triple H

Rating: 10/10 

I don’t care what people say about Sting losing and what not, it was a great match and a reminder for everyone who grew up watching the Monday Wars between WWE and WCW. NWO and DX fighting, good chemistry between HHH and Sting and finally that handshake which was HHH’s idea which made it even better was like a proper end to the war, HHH had his respect for Sting and vice versa

We then see Daniel Bryan backstage who gets congratulated by Pat Patterson, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Ricky The Dragon Steamboat, Ric Flair and Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart which made the belt feel important again, we shall see if it stays that way over the next few months.

Match 6

Divas Tag Team Match

A.J Lee/ Paige vs The Bella Twins

It was a good start by the Bellas who kept A.J out of the match for the majority of it as they worked on Paige who was able to just kick out of Nikki Bella’s finisher during this. Paige is able to tag in A.J who takes it to the Bellas and there was a good moment where Paige slams Brie into the steel steps! A.J Lee forces The Divas Champion to tap out to the Black Widow.

Winner: A.J Lee/Paige 

Rating: 7/10

Half decent and better than any Divas Match in the last year, defied what I was expecting and I really enjoyed this match so well done ladies, you showed that Divas do deserve a chance.

Match 7

John Cena vs Rusev

• Rusev arrives in a Tank- ENOUGH SAID!
• Lana is back
• Cena’s entrance was good as well
• John Cena is still booed, even when he’s defending America against Russia?! guess he’ll never have everyone cheering for him

Rusev can pull off some really good moves for someone his size, he really does have a future in WWE, Cena…does what her normally does and the commentators just adore it from start to finish. good back and forth before Rusev locks in the Accolade but Cena is able to power out eventually and even locks in the STF but again, Rusev escapes. A moment of awkwardness occurs when Rusev runs into Lana who was on the apron, allowing Cena to give Rusev an Attitude Adjustment and the win to not only end Rusev’s undefeated streak but to give John Cena the U.S Championship.

POINTLESS SEGMENT WITH THE AUTHORITY/ ROCK AND UFC LADY RONDA ROUSEY…lasted 16 minutes! long story short

• Steph speaks a big game but cries like a baby when Ronda grabs her arm
• Ronda Rousey slams HHH after The Rock has his way with him, making Sting’s loss even more humiliating if you really think about it

Match 8a

Bray Wyatt vs Undertaker

Zombie Scarecrows everywhere but wow…Bray took forever to get to the ring! be honest with me! didn’t Undertaker look even better then he did last year, his appearance made me think it was 2004! as for the match itself, it was really good…I loved the spider walk followed by Taker sitting up…Wyatt was intimidated by Taker…he had no idea what he had gotten himself into but he put up one hell of a fight! it felt weird, not having to think about the Streak anymore! Wyatt and Taker kick out of the other’s finisher but finally, Undertaker hits a 2nd Tombstone Piledriver and makes it 22-1! Wonder how Heyman will change his opening speech for Lesnar?!

Winner: Undertaker

Match Rating: 9/10 

It’s the Undertaker and Bray Wyatt, do I need to say much more other than it was awesome! 2015 should be a great year for Wyatt, as for Undertaker…I hope that this was not his last match, I want to see him at Wrestlemania 32 against Sting…MAKE IT HAPPEN WWE!

MAIN EVENT

Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar 

What can I say about this match??? Roman Reigns, you earned my respect last night, you took a beating and all you did was smile and come back for more which was awesome! Lesnar hits an F5 almost straight away and the Beast dominates Reigns for the majority of the match, stopping any Reigns come back at every turn. Reigns manages to make Lesnar bleed quite badly

SUPLEX CITY B****!- Lesnar

Lesnar in total hits about Ten suplexes during the match, a sick clothesline to Reigns which needs looking at again and again! 2nd F5 but Reigns kicks out at 2. Reigns continues to laugh at Lesnar and Lesnar gets more vicious, he hits a 3rd F5 but again, Reigns kicks out at 2 1/2. At long last, Reigns fights back and slams Lesnar into the ring post, busting him open even more, followed by 3 Superman Punches and 2 Spears but Lesnar kicks out at 2!

Brock Lesnar hits a 4th F5 but is unable to cover Reigns…then….SETH ROLLINS RUNS OUT! HE CASHES IN HIS MITB Contract, making it a Triple Threat Match!! Rollins attacks Lesnar but the Beast fights back and almost hits an F5 but Reigns Spears him, allowing Rollins to nail a curb stomp on Reigns as he tries to get up  and he covers his former Shield brethren to win The WWE World Heavyweight Championship!

Winner: Seth Rollins!

Match Rating: 10/10

Well, how was that for an ending? I was really unsure whether Rollins would cash in tonight but he did and he did it at the best time and he pinned Reigns, not Lesnar which still makes Lesnar look like a beast and it seems as if Reigns will chase Rollins for the championship now. We should see Lesnar again in a few months, wanting revenge hopefully. Reigns did well tonight, I was impressed and I will not be so cruel about him in future because he showed that he can perform! His time will come!

PPV Rating: 8/10

A great Wrestlemania, the best in the last few years I think. Every match was really good, many we will remember for years to come. The Undertaker was back, NWO VS DX, Amazing Ladder Match, Rusev’s Undefeated Streak came to an end and Seth Rollins finally cashed in his MITB Contract. Was worth staying up all night for, even though I had work in the morning.

Wrestlemania has come and gone…now we go on towards Extreme Rules and the aftermath of this great PPV! I hope you all enjoyed this PPV as much as I did.

TheMattAttack

The Matt Attack! Raw is War

Hello fellow WWE fans or people lost on the site and accidentally ended up here, welcome to Monday Night Raw and we are at the Wells Fargo Arena in Des Moines, Iowa as we kick off with the Authority in the ring. Oh yey, another promo to kick off a wrestling show, are you guys sure that this is a wrestling program???

A Seth Rollins chant starts up from the crowd but he just ignores this and insults the entire state (naughty boy) then we get the usual ”You sold out chants” Haven’t heard that on a weekly basis for the past year…move on people. Rollins says that Orton’s attack on him last week was nothing like his attack on the Shield, it was a betrayal of trust and that he would get revenge on Orton at Wrestlemania, accepting the Viper’s challenge

Big Show takes the mic and he gets Major heat, well he is a lot better as a heel then he ever was as a face but knowing WWE, he will be a face again in about a month or two.

I am a Giant- Big Show

Elementary my dear Big Show, care to tell us the bloody obvious some more because before you said that, I thought you were Hornswoggle in disguise!

Kane speaks next and not many people boo him but then again, most audiences go quiet when he ever comes out for a match, sad really for a future Hall of Famer. PUT THE MASK BACK ON KANE!

I’m considered to be the secret weapon of the authority!”- Jamie Noble

Was that meant to be funny, was I supposed t laugh at that? Also Joey Mercury has suddenly become a cry baby that enjoys hugging Giants!

Seth Rollins agrees to fight Randy Orton at Wrestlemania….on one condition, if Randy Orton will face him tonight in the main event. Orton comes out and accepts, even though he knows he is walking into a 5 on 1 situation later, it’s worth it to get to Seth he says so we now know our main event for the night.

We learn of a contract signing for the United States Championship between John Cena and Rusev,  as well as an interview with the WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar later on, it is said to be controversial.

We cut to A.J Lee skipping in the back, ready to face Nikki Bella…because clearly you must be crazy if you skip everywhere you go…so why aren’t the Bella Twins skipping everywhere because clearly…they must be crazy if they think there the most dominant Divas on the roster…pieces of wood can’t be the best! they just can’t. I tried to watch this match, I really did but my loathing for the Bellas made it impossible to…hearing those voices, even if the lovely Paige is out there but it was interesting to see a Divas Match kick off Raw for a change but I wouldn’t kick off with the Bellas…they’ll have fans change the channel, not tune in to watch #GiveDivasAChance

Also did anyone else hear what Booker T said during this match

”Women just typically hate each other”- Booker T

Classic Booker T commentary there. Next we will be shown ”The Worlds Strongest Spear” segment from last week’s Smackdown…yey then we cut to Renee Young who interviews Kane and the Big Show who bicker like little school children before Seth belittles them for not focusing on protecting him. Kane and Big Show then say that although Stephanie McMahon can talk down to them, Rollins is not able to and they both say that they will not be out at ringside during Seth’s match.

Ryback vs…The Miz….yey that guy again who says that if Damien Mizdow does not help him win the Andre the Giant memorial battle royal, he’ll be fired.

We see Ryback annihilate The Miz after Mizdow refused to punch the Miz…as Mizdow helps Miz up, The Miz strikes and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Mizdow, effective placing Mizdow in the same position as Adam Rose’s Bunny because we all know on Smackdown and next weeks Raw, Mizdow will still be by Miz’s side, the split won’t happen until Wrestlemania!

It’s contract signing time, I never get these things, we know the match is happening so why the need to sign a piece of paper in the ring for it. Before we see that…Sheamus promo

Anyway, we see that the contract table has both Russian and American flags on it…And we see Americans boo the American representing them…I think that the fans would prefer the Russian to overcome the American and be victorious but just imagine America, Rusev standing tall and this flag down below hoovering over your stadium, on your soil…because you can not go one match without booing John Cena…just think about that as you stare at his Russian Flag, used by the wrestler who’s not even Russian

Put America first and create a Patriotic Moment at Wrestlemania, even if it’s John Cena…I think it’ll be worth it, even if the U.S Championship goes with Cena and maybe loses credibility because…who’s Cena going to put over??

”I’ve signed many of these things but this contract is the most important one I’ve signed”- John Cena

Cena signs the contract, then out comes Rusev…without Lana but instead with some guy in a suit who JBL says isn’t even Russian and judging by his accent, I have to agree, it’s awful. ”Where is Lana?” and ”We want Lana!”’ chants break out. Rusev refuses to sign the contract as he reveals that it was not him that agreed to the Wrestlemania Match, rather it was Lana…loophole right there but does say that he will agree to a match if he is allowed to read a statement regarding America in full without being stopped, here it is in full.

”America lives and dies with it’s belief of second chances. John Cena, I defeated you at WW Fastlane (He missed the E) yet you continue and try at having another chance and that’s because your weak. Weakness is just one of the many problems with America. America worships failures, this countries parents are failures (Cena throws his hat off in a tantrum) Their children will grow to be failures (Cena throws off shirt, Micheal Cole leaves the ring) American people are stained in history, America is a cancer to the world! All say can I see, this stupid little land, how so proud thee you held, this stupid little country, a country that will die!”- Rusev

Rusev then signs the contract, flips the table over and runs away as his ”lawyer” falls out of the ring…which was funny. Cena holds up the contract but the Russian Flag comes down to end the segment, much to Cena’s disgust.

”God bless Russia”- Rusev

Next up, we have The New Day ”Oh great!” and it looks set to be a rematch between them and Cesaro and…wait…Spison Kidd! oh Lillian Garcia, it’s Tyson Kidd…another moment for her then. You could tell that she noticed her mistake as she paused after saying it. Then out come Los Matadores…showing just how far the Tag Team Division has really fallen since the Shield and Team Hell No all broke up and now that one of the Usos is injured…looks like we only have Kidd/Cesaro as the only decent Tag Team left…The Ascension need some work, either that or give Prime Time Players a push. Either that or risk this division will sink like the ever drowning Divas Division. Anyway, the Bull fighters attack New Day and we see El Torrito attack Cesaro…because you know…tiny guys in a bull costume is what we all want, right? I’m sure that inter species match on Smackdown will be a 5 star wonder! especially with Jerry Lawler on commentary!

Is it me or are the top three matches at Wrestlemania all been built up with promos…Reigns vs Lesnar, Sting vs HHH and Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt…disgusting if you ask me…I want actual build ups that make me feel like a story is being told, matches and moments that make you want to buy the PPV, not watch constant video packages! cheap if you ask me! Back to the show and Rollins alienates himself from the Mall Cops as well…why do I smell a set up…seems all too good to be true with all of his allies leaving his side, especially with another week of build up to come but maybe I’ll be wrong and Rollins will actually wrestle a match by HIMSELF!

I keep hearing the WWE saying that ”People don’t think that Roman Reigns can beat Brock Lesnar” and i respond by saying ‘No, people are saying that they don’t want to see Roman Reigns beat Brock Lesnar!” but hey, WWE will continue to portray Reigns as Superman who will be there cash cow for the foreseeable future because…who cares what simple fans think right? WWE Fans don’t have the balls to not turn up to a PPV or show, they talk a big deal online but when push comes to shove, we all still buy merchandise, purchase the Network and buy the games (even though WWE2K15 sucks!) And this is why we have guys like Roman Reigns set to be champion, because WWE knows that fans are all talk and no bite! they’ll still pour money into the company and the WWE will make whoever they damn please to be champion and we’ll all just have to shut up and like it, because what else will we watch, TNA? to watch rejects who couldn’t handle the big leagues??

Look, I don’t want Roman Reigns to be WWE Champion…but it’s going to happen. Brock Lesnar interview and he speaks about the enjoyment of hurting people and at Wrestlemania, he is going to destroy Roman Reigns and I could tell that WWE is pushing hard for fans to boo Lesnar and cheer Reigns, they even include a video of Lesnar ending the streak at last years Wrestlemania and that he’s taking the belt away from WWE if he stays or goes…will this tactic work, who knows? but then again,  who cares, if Reigns pins Lesnar and you all say you’ll stop watching….I guarantee you’ll still be Network subscribers this time next year, saying the same thing!

Big Show vs Erik Rowan and Show pretty much destroys Erik Rowan and the match never gets underway, we even see a elbow drop from the second rope from Big Show which was interesting because 9.5/10, Show misses when he goes up but apart from that, this segment was shorter then the Divas match so for me, a pointless few minutes wasted and you damaged Rowan’s career a bit more with this.

Larry Zbyszko is to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, just thought I’d let you guys know that…seems like he was a decent wrestler to be honest…might have to look back and watch his career.

Now, in the ring we have various superstars, including Kane who tells Curtis Axel #AXELMANIA to forget about his movement and he goes on to say that he will win the Battle Royal at Wrestlemania (Yeah right) Then Mark Henry comes out and they both clear house until there’s only Kane and Mark Henry are left who battle it out until Henry picks Kane up and throws him on the apron but as Kane fights back, Axel comes out of nowhere and tries to throw them both out but only Kane falls, then Henry eliminates Axel and is the last man standing. (GET THE MASK BACK ON KANE!)

Paul Heyman time now (Thank goodness) he says that the WWE Championship Match rules at Wrestlemania were written by a pacifist, he sounds really angry tonight, furious in fact.

”Brock Lesnar isn’t coming to make love, Brock Lesnar is coming to make War!”- Paul Heyman

Out comes Reigns and his pop is…decent…a bit better then usual, I’ll admit but ti doesn’t scream future to me…I think the reception at Wrestlemania will tell us where Reigns will be regarding being accepted by the fans. Apart from the odd Daniel Bryan chants, I actually sort of enjoyed Reign’s promo…it wasn’t corny or irritating, it was full of passion and it was well spoken, his best one yet…I’ll say this, if he does that every week, I’ll slowly warm to him.

We then discover that next week, Brock Lesnar will be on the show, face to face with Roman Reigns.

”My toes are curling in anticipation” Paul Heyman

Back to the ring and it’s the 6 tag team match now, Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler team up with a Turd (Daniel Bryan) against Stardust, Luke Harper and Bad News Barrett, then out comes R Truth…for commentary…again because why would he actually wrestle??? this week he has a new backpack (oh wait, it’s the Intercontinental Championship on his back) How much more degrading will you make the belt WWE! Micheal Cole and Booker T make a joke out of it all, like stealing is ok (great message there WWE) I hate this game of hot potato. Action spills all over the arena which was awesome, I hope the ladder match will be as memorable as the MITB Ladder matches were at previous Wrestlemanias. Ziggler kicks Bryan before getting hit by wasteland, then Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds for the win. Afterwards Harper attacks Ambrose and throws him over the announce table before demanding the belt of R Truth who now has it (why is he even in this match) Stardust steals it off Truth and tries to escape through the crowd but Ambrose catches up and the two brawl. Ambrose gets the belt and attempts to climb over the barricade but Stardust comes back and R Truth takes the belt, then throws it in the ring after being intercepted by Luke Harper. Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler now have a tug of war over the championship before fighting it out, both taking out Stardust and Luke Harper in the process when out of the blue, Bad News Barrett destroys Ziggler and Bryan with his Bullhammer and then Dean Ambrose as well before finally taking back his Intercontinental Championship, hopefully putting an end to this stupid game. He even hits R Truth with a bull hammer for good measure!

”Who’s the bloody man!”- BNB

Triple H and Stephanie McMahon tell Seth Rollins to man up and take on Randy Orton as he made his bed, now he needed to lie in it. Rollins criticizes Stephanie’s decision to send Kane and Big Show home last week which looks to alienate Rollins from the rest of his allies but I still smell a trap…I hope I’m wrong…

And I’m not! after a short promo with Bray Wyatt where he pours out the chairs ashes from last week, he says he’ll put the Undertaker to rest and that he is the new face of fear! he will join the gods! Anyway, The Authority and Seth Rollins reveal that they were all friends all along and they tricked Orton…why did we spend the whole night watching Rollins do that then? seemed pointless to me, the same result would have come about if you didn’t do anything. Crowd chants for Sting and what do you know, the lights go out and Sting is in the ring (Thanks spoilers) and two men are able to take out five quite easily and end the show with Randy Orton and Sting side by side. Damn it, where was your secret weapon, when you needed it Jamie! oh and PUT THE MASK ON KANE!

”If I could speak for Sting, Sting-” Michael Cole cutting off Booker T mid sentence

Overall a decent Raw, it wasn’t awful but I still think the show could have been better…a lot better in the sense that

• The IC needs more respect
• R Truth should wrestle a match!
• Bray Wyatt needs to wrestle a match!
• Less Bellas, More Paige and A.J
• Let Erik Rowan wrestle a match fairly
• Less Miz, more Mizdow
• KANE NEEDS THE MASK ON
• Less Whiny Big Show
• It’s Tyson Kidd, Lilian!
• More Paul Heyman (make him GM or something)

Anyway, I give Raw a score of 6/10 (just above average)

Until next week

Keep it Real

The Matt Attack!

Should We Watch Wrestlemania?

My big question to ask all WWE Fans is…should we really bother watching Wrestlemania this year?? Is it worth our time to just watch Roman Reigns become WWE Champion? I mean, no one wants to see it happen, do they? Mr Smug spear his way to glory before dominating the roster for the near future…sounds like hell to me…still haven’t a clue what WWE is on but it’s clearly bad for your judgement to take it…I may sound like a hardcore fan having a rant but I think I can find a massive amount of people who would agree that putting the belt on Reigns now is a BIG mistake! he needs time to work up and then , maybe next year, he can win the championship and the fans will accept it.

Look at Roman Reigns, he has power, looks and a mean spear to match but his Mic skills are awful, Miz Awful in fact and his limited moves don’t help him either…ok so he’s done a couple of new ones recently but he needs more! Another annoyance is that there are so many superstars who deserve the shot more. Need I say Daniel Bryan, Dolph Ziggler, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Rusev, Bray Wyatt, Cesaro but no…give it to the Looney Toon fan Roman Reigns….because he looks the part but then again, this is the company that things female wrestlers only need to look the part…like heck if it matters if they can ACTUALLY WRESTLE OR NOT!

THIS SHOW REALLY SAVED THE ‘DIVAS’ DIVISION

I mean, have you seen that thing that they call a championship belt, It’s a pink butterfly that glimmers and shines!

So it doesn’t matter that so many other stars can wrestle a great match, as long as you look like a top guy then your set…John Cena but at least The Rock and Stone Cold could put on a match! can we all seriously imagine WWE a year from now with Reigns as the top guy…just imagine it…Roman Reigns beating Seth Rollins, overcoming Bray Wyatt…defeating the small man Daniel Bryan and not even wrestling Dolph Ziggler and Kane still won’t be wearing his mask….I seriously question the mental health of WWE writers sometimes, you can booo and yell in there face and they still won’t see why fans hate what they write, they’ll remain oblivious to it and won’t care…The Bellas are failures….The Miz being a wrestler is a failure…Roman Reigns looks set to be the next failure and it’s a shame…I just wish someone half intelligent would write for WWE…someone who actually knows who the fans want to see fight, be champion and headline PPV’S

Here’s my Wrestlemania PPV Card

Main Event for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Brock Lesnar (Champion) (with Paul Heyman) vs Daniel Bryan

Classic David vs Goliath feel to it with Daniel Bryan wrestling a clinic against Lesnar, making Lesnar with a bloodied up face pass out to the Yes Lock to win the belt, creating a WM Moment (Face it, Bryan beating Lesnar is more impressive then Reigns doing it)

WWE VS WCW

The Undertaker vs Sting- No Holds Barred

(Retirement Match for both…enough said, nostalgia)

The Rock vs HHH

(Classic Attitude Era Match that stuns the audience, doesn’t matter who wins)

United States Championship Match

Roman Reigns vs Rusev

(My reason is that I think Roman Reigns beating Rusev makes more sense then John Cena doing it as Reigns is young and upcoming and a championship reign with either the US or IC title will benefit Reigns and let him grow, Cena doesn’t need the belt)

Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton

Intercontinental Championship

Bad News Barrett vs Dean Ambrose vs Bray Wyatt vs Dolph Ziggler vs R Truth vs Luke Harper- Ladder Match

(A really good opener to the show, remember MITB Matches kicking off Wrestlemanias? I’d have Bray Wyatt pick up the win and have him feud with Dean Ambrose, Luke Harper and Dolph Ziggler ovr the course of the first part of the year before he lost it in a hard fought match to Ambrose and Ziggler in a Triple Threat at Summerslam

Goldust vs Stardust (Dusty Rhodes as the Guest ref)

Needs a conclusion with Stardust winning after a mid match transformation to Cody Rhodes

Andre the Giant Battle Royal

Kane (With Mask) vs Big Show vs Sheamus vs Curtis Axel vs Sin Cara vs Fandango vs Erik Rowan vs Ryback vs Zack Ryder vs Big E vs Kofi Kingston vs Diego vs Fernando vs Mark Henry vs The Ascension vs John Cena (Since he wants to be in it so much) vs Bo Dallas vs Titus O Neil vs Darren Young

I’d have Kane win this, just to spite Big Show for a 2nd year in a row, the guy has been really annoying…sounding like a whining child and has been especially annoying to Kane (saying the mask made Kane better) I agree but since it came from him, it still annoyed me and I’d love somehow for Big Show to dominate Kane until the lights go out and a red mist descends that distracts Show then the lights come on and the mask is back on, Kane destroys Big Show and eliminates him, a nostalgia Attitude Era moment for the fans and I’d book Kane properly, the monster that he was.

2 out of 3 Falls Match for the Tag Team Championships

The Usos vs Tyson Kid/Cesaro

Divas Championship Fatal 4 Way

Nikki Bella (c) vs A.J Lee vs Brie Bella vs Paige

(It made no sense that the Bellas suddenly made up like that so I’d still have Brie wanting revenge on her sister, only for Paige to pick up the win and they both quit in a rage…thus saving the Divas division)

What do you think, better then the current line up?

The Matt Attack! Raw is Potatoes

Hello and welcome to the 2nd edition of the Matt Attack! Where we review the latest episode of WWE the production…I mean wrestling show and we are at the Consol Energy Center in Pittsburgh!

ALL COPYRIGHTS AND PICTURES OF WWE SUPERSTARS BELONG TO WWE.COM

 

We kick off with the Apex Predator Randy Orton making his way to the ring with the Authority already in the ring and we learn that the main event will be a handicap match with Seth Rollins and Randy Orton facing the number one contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, Roman Reigns. Kane welcomes back Orton to the Authority as does Big Show (If you can hear him over the booing) but Jamie Noble doesn’t trust Randy

”Little Jamie”

 

Why is this happening, seems like a match kicking off Raw would have been better, I mean we all know that Randy will eventually attack Rollins, setting up there match at Wrestlemania 31, right? Fans chant RKO RKO RKO RKO! Seth tells the group to trust Randy, well to Kane and the Mall Cops because as Seth says to Big Show

”No one cares what Big Show thinks”

Is this promo still going on? Randy asks about the Authority and questions what’s happened to them, he starts with Kane, refering to him as

”The Devil’s Favorite Dumbass!”

Next is the Big Show who Randy says he just,

”Bitches and Moans, feeling sorry for yourself!”

Then we go to Jamie Noble where randy insults his height and that he couldn’t get on any rides at Disney Land, ouch. Randy then sounds serious as he tells Seth Rollins that this whole time, he has been getting closer to him and when the time was right, he would strike and make Seth Rollins his ‘bitch’ He then goes on to say that he was only kidding around and tells the group to get a sense of humor (The look on Kane’s face says it all. Say what you will about Kane but he’s the smartest in the group) We then cut to an announcement regarding a man called Wiz Khalifa being a guest on the show tonight and this is met with boos….I thought he was from Pittsburgh so why are they booing there own?

Daniel Bryan is out next for the first match of the night and he is going to fight Bad News Barrett. Bryan stares at a ladder…what could that possibly mean? Once again R Truth is outside on commentary…no doubt he has some kind of scheme up his sleeves. #ICTitle, because why not? Are the commentators really talking about potatoes during a match?…Guys, theres a match going on, pay attention! Bad News is taking control as the commentators talk about…Potatoes..Daniel Bryan hits a high knee out of nowhere and it’s over.

 

it’s 0-4 for Barrett in the last month and I’m actually surprised that WWE knew that, considering that JBL and Booker T normally just chat about any nonsense during a match. Bryan gets hit by a Bullhammer but out comes Dean Ambrose and he attacks Barrett before competing in a match of his own against Stardust and R Truth still goes on about Potatoes!! ENOUGH ALREADY!! the fans are getting confused as they are calling Stardust Cody…I mean, why would they do that? #what’sinthebag WHO CARES! it is a good back and forth match between Ambrose and Stardust which concludes with the Dirty Deeds and a win for Dean Ambrose but as soon as the match is over, a brawl breaks out between Stardust, Dean Ambrose, Bad News Barrett, Luke Harper, Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan but as they fight, R Truth steals the belt but Barrett knows that he has and demands his belt back but unbeknownst to Bad News, R Truth gives him a toy IC Title…seriously though, would anyone have been able to really tell the difference?

   Looks the same to me?!

 

BTW, JBL’S hat has suddenly become magical, you all saw it fly onto the table by itself!

 

We learn about the Warrior Award which is in honor of the late, great Ultimate Warrior and the first person to be given such an honor is Connor Michalek, the little 8 year old boy who was battling cancer and I think that this is an awesome decision by WWE. R.I.P Connor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ej73ZNbMNY

 

Now, we learn the truth about the future of Brock Lesnar…Well from what I can tell, it’s going to be the most obvious result in Wrestlemania history with Roman Reigns becoming the next champion (even though nobody wants that) They show a promo about Reigns in an attempt to get us behind him but it doesn’t work, I heard boos as soon as it ended, even Paul Heyman couldn’t do it, he called it a ‘Fan pleasing video!’ he goes on to promise that if anyone in the WWE attempts to screw Lesnar out of the championship, then as Heyman said

”They won’t leave WRESTLEMANIA ALIVE!”

Will we see actual murder at Wrestlemania?? Heyman goes on to mention the possibility of merging WWE’S Championship with UFC’S which was awesome and I think that this is a clear sign that Brock is indeed leaving the WWE after Wrestlemania 31, why else mention UFC at all? I don’t know but that’s the impression I got after the promo. As to who the champion will be is a mystery, Reigns looks likely to be the one but Rollins is the MITB holder so a sneak cash in could be on the cards. Loved Paul Heyman’s slip up on Bray Wyatt’s name tonight but apart from that, this part of Raw was pure gold!

Tag team action next as Kane/Big Show take on Erik Rowan/Ryback and all four men are in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal Match

 

All Copyrights belong to WWE

 

Ryback beats up Kane until he gets hit by a big boot and a spear afterwards by Big Show. I’m a big Kane fan and I really miss the mask, Corporate Kane is just awful…we need the masked Devil to come back and put on a decent match…not this sorry excuse! Erik Rowan now beats up Kane and even the Big Show gets in on the action, accidentally K.O punching Kane, causing his team to lose (should have had the mask on Kane) Kane gets in Big Shows face but before anything can happen, Stephanie McMahon comes out and well

”SHUT UP BIG SHOW!”

Wow, this is embarrassing for two WWE Veterans, future hall of famers being treated as jokes. She tells them both to pack there bags and leave the arena…I hope Kane gets his mask back because of this…it’s the best opportunity for WWE to get it back on him. Next, we have the Miz and his embarrassing erectile dysfunction issues

 We get a moment with the Miz and the Wiz is that a pee joke McMahon?  you tell me Damien Wizdow

All Copyrights belong to WWE

 

Another Boring Sheamus returns promo…I’ll give him Three weeks and he’ll be stale and pointless again. never rated him that much but he is better as a heel then a face so if he does return, BE A HEEL!

Rumors fly about about the Plastic Twins….(Bellas) are not renewing there WWE contracts (Fingers crossed about that one) I might actually care about the Divas Division again…Bellas are nothing more than attention seeking that any serious WWE Fan can’t stand because

1. They can’t wrestle
2. Have no personality
3. Are more plastic than Human
4. Brie mode was a total shambles that no one cared about
5. Just Plain Boring
6. Total Divas sucked!

Divas Match but I just remembered that I didn’t take the bins out and I can’t be bothered to pause the recording on my TV…I’ll only be two minutes

Be Right Back

 I’m back and…the match is over? Oh well, never mind. Time to hear Sting speak…but wait…that isn’t Sting’s voice…sounds more like Kevin Nash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZUMQd3m9gM

Your Loyalty is to yourself- Sting to Triple H

 

I hope that Sting beats Triple H at Wrestlemania and gets that bit of revenge for WCW, I also hope that the match will go down as an all time classic that somehow sets up Sting vs Undertaker at Wrestlemania 32

Rusev and John Cena meet backstage and Cena tells him that fighting at Wrestlemania is a privilege…USA Chants begin…I’ll admit that it’s nice to hear a country feel so proud about it’s heritage…I mean, look at this guy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgec9WX21ik

Then stay alive Or else you’d be dead

Cena tells Rusev to say one thing about America and he’ll show him just what America can do. #Axelmania. Rusev vs Curtis Axel This is going to be a massacre which it is but still #Axelmania!

Rusev grabs a Mic and proceeds to insult America by saying

”America is pathetic and delusional”

 

”All you want to do is negotiate, you are spineless and if you had a spine, it would be made of jello!”

 

”If you had a heart, it would be full of disease!”

 

”America, if you had a soul, then god would look down and spit on it!”

Powerful stuff by Rusev and it’s enough to bring Cena out who brawls with the Russian. Cena locks in the STF and Rusev eventually passes out, then Cena pours water on Rusev before locking the STF back in again. Lana begs John Cena and eventually gives Cena a U.S Championship match at Wrestlemania 31.

Bray Wyatt now and he has the Undertakers Urn, to raise the dead.

Find me!

Back to Rusev who is angry with Lana for giving John Cena a match at Wrestlemania, they argue in Russian and he tells her to leave! Anyway, we cut to the failed experiment ‘The New Day’ Wow, this is boring…they should have been a Heel group because at the moment, watching paint dry is more entertaining then watching Xavier Woods wrestle. Maybe Bray Wyatt can use the Urn to raise Kofi Kingston’s and Big E credibility from the dead! Why would Natalya get on the apron to interrupt the match when there was no need (I think that spot went bad) Ok so New Day beat the champions…I hope that doesn’t mean a Title short for them at Wrestlemania! Here come the Usos as Naomi take on Natalya…hang on…I actually forgot to do the dishes and they really need to be washed before lunch so…

Be Right Back

 Oh come on, can’t a Divas match last longer then 3 minutes?? Hang on, Los Matadores??? is this torture week for WWE? Sorry, I was distracted by Natalya thinking that she was a Tag Team Champion to care about the Matadores! and according to the CM Punk chants, neither does the crowd…anyway, the Matadores win the match so what does that mean…a Tag Team Turmoil or something???? who knows but normally the Tag Team division gets screwed at the big PPV.

Backstage, the mall cops warn Seth Rollinds about Randy Orton but he ignores there warnings, anyway back to Wyatt who cuts a promo about the Undertaker and his pride (Wait, didn’t Kane do this in 2010) He calls himself as the new face of fear! Will Taker accept the challenge? Wyatt reveals the Urn and even opens it but nothing is in it…or so it first appears as smoke appears followed by sounds of Thunder…then that well known gong that we all know and love. All of a sudden…Wyatt’s old rocking chair appears in the ring, only to be struck by lightning and Wyatt watches it burn before laughing maniacally

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLZOfM7NXFs

The man comes around”

You will R.I.P

Main event time and out comes Roman Reigns…boos mostly, seriously doesn’t sound like a number one guy to me but still, this whole crowd has been quite quiet tonight so we’ll see how the crowd responds to him next week. During, the match Rollins sends the mall cops to the back and says that he and Orton have it under control (I don’t see this going back on Rollins at all) oh wait, Orton refused a tag and Reigns spears Rollins for the victory! he even sticks up his middle fingers at the Architect (That’s not PG Randy!)

”Randy is being Randy!”- JBL

Orton goes on to destroy Seth Rollins all over the arena and this includes a DDT of the barricade, forcing fans to take photos of Rollins been beaten which was hilarious because WE ALL KNEW THAT IT WAS COMING…seriously…who didn’t?

”TAKE THE PICTURE!”

Oh if only Big Show and Kane could just come out and save Rollins…oh wait, they left…well J and J security could still come out and…oh wait, Rollins sent them to the back…good luck Seth! He finishes this beat down off by an RKO through the announce table…therefore making Seth Rollins, Randy’s bitch!

 

 

 

 

However, before the show started a rumor flew about a big meeting been held backstage and I can only imagine how that would have gone down.

Triple H: Ok guys, I called you all hear regarding certain rumors that have been flying about the past week on Brock Lesnar and the Main Event of Wrestlemania, Daniel!

D Bryan: Yes! Yes! Have you finally seen sense?

Triple H: Unfortunately no…Vince still thinks your a B+ player so…Reigns is still facing Lesnar

D Bryan: SO even an Occupy Raw won’t change his mind?

Triple H: I’m afraid not

John Cena: I have some-

Everyone: SHUT UP CENA!

Booker T: Shucky Ducky quack!

Triple H: Very nice Booker!

D Bryan: But why have me fight for the IC Title? It makes no sense

Triple H: Vince’s Idea I’m afraid!

Daniel Bryan: But I-

Triple H: Would you rather face Sheamus?

D Bryan: I’ll be good!

Bad News: Oi boss, why the bloody hell is my Title being past about like a hot potato!

Triple H: Vince’s Idea, sorry Wade…I don’t get it either

R Truth: Why you gotta be like that Wade, your so mean!

Bad News: What is he on?

D Bryan: I don’t know but can I have some?

Jerry Lawler: Puppies!

Triple H: I thought we moved him to Smackdown?

JBL: We did but he keeps coming back!

Triple H: Anyway, Roman…we won’t have you speaking on the mic this week…see how the fans react to you just wrestling

Roman: But I had a whole new bunch of rhymes to spit out!

Triple H: NO TALKING!

Randy: Hunter, I think that we should just have me attack Seth tonight…the fans already see it coming so there’s no point dragging it out

Triple H: I see your point…unlike Vince, I know the fans can use the internet and read rumors and spoilers so why the heck not, SETH!

Seth: Yeah boss?

Triple H: Randy’s putting you through a table so protect your neck out there!

Seth: No problem but don’t make me his bitch!

Triple H: Oh….we won’t!

(Vince enters the room)

Vince: Ok, Brock looks like he’s leaving the company in a few weeks so I want Paul Heyman to make it look like Lesnar won’t lose the title without one hell of a fight, that will make Reign’s victory look all the more impressive

Triple H: Yes Vince

D Bryan: Are you for real?

Paul Heyman: Sir, I have to agree with Daniel…do you have any idea how difficult it will be to make Roman Reigns look like a million bucks in Pittsburgh!

Vince: Why? The fans love him?

Paul Heyman: No…they don’t….hell they only just like him a bit more then the entire Divas Division…well maybe not more then A.J or Paige but definitely more then Eva Marie and the Bellas!

Vince: What do you mean, Total Divas was a massive success that everyone watched and loved!

D Bryan: Was it?

Bad News: Next thing, he’ll say Scooby Doo and The Flintstone specials were number 1 hits as well

Brie Bella: Brie Mode!

D Bryan: Oh god (head in hands)

Vince: Tonight, I want Roman Reigns to face Seth Rollins and Randy Orton in a handicap match and we’ll have Roman beat them both easily, to make it look like he’ll bring a good fight to Brock Lesnar.

Paul Heyman: That sounds like it’ll just anger fans on the internet even more

Vince: How so?

Paul Heyman: Well sir, no one likes a guy who is near invincible, why do you think any fan over the age of eight boos Cena?

Vince: But they love Cena!

(Heyman scratches his head)

Triple H: How about Randy turns on Rollins, costing him the match to Roman?

Vince: But that makes no sense, next thing you’ll tell me is that we should drive Rollins through the announce table…

(Everyone looks at Vince awkwardly)

A.J Lee: Mr Vince sir…how about we give Divas a chance?

(VINCE bursts out laughing)

Vince: Good one A.J…your still having a Tag Match at Wrestlemania!

A.J: But I-

Vince: Don’t make me include Maria Menounos in the match!

Divas: NO! Please, we’ll be finished!

Vince: Listen, the fans love Reigns…they just don’t see it yet and before long, arenas all over the world will chant his name as he stays champion for 435 days! take that quitter!

D Bryan to Triple H : What’s Vince on?

Triple H: I don’t know but I want some

Vince: Rusev!

Rusev: Yes Vince?

Vince: Your losing the belt to Cena at Wrestlemania

Rusev: But why Cena?

Vince: Because…that’s why!

Rusev: But I’ll still be a strong heel afterwards…right?

Vince:…yeah…just like the Great Khali and Umaga were after they faced Cena…you’ll be fine

Triple H: Anyway guys, an hour until the Pre Show so places!

Vince: You’ll see…Reigns will be the greatest star of all time….Commentators….talk absolute rubbish during matches and have R Truth out there for a bit…bring a Potato sack with him as well…show random shots of JBL’s hat and get me another rocking chair!

Triple H: That’s right…and I bet The Bunny will be the one to end Rusev’s streak

Vince:…How did you know my plans???

Triple H:…sigh

Overall, this Raw gets a 5/10 but only because of Randy Orton, he saved this show from being a shambles because everything else is all over the place and it needs serious work on it because as of right now, Wrestlemania looks to be in trouble.

Until next time

Matt Attack!